The Lakewood BlueClaws announced this week that, fresh off a suspension in the “Deflate-Gate” scandal, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has been banned from FirstEnergy Park.
The reason: to preserve the integrity of the popular eyeball race, a promotion for a local eyecare company. The race, held each game in between innings, consists of several eyeball mascots, each dressed in a different color uniform, engaging in a race around the bases.
“The three eyeballs – blue, green, and brown – need to be inflated each night, and inflation or deflation of the Eyeballs could easily impact their results,” a press release from the team stated.
In addition to generally banning Brady from the ballpark, Brady is also banned from “having any role in the preparation, supervision, or handling of on field entertainment at FirstEnergy Park, or from any participation therein,” the press release went on the say.
The team says the ban is real, despite the obvious satirical overtones.
“We hope that this decision will demonstrate our commitment to ensuring that all inflatable items at FirstEnergy Park, from our entry gate to the Kids Zone will be filled to their proper levels, in accordance with manufacturer recommendations,” the release said.
The BlueClaws, a Class-A affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies, are off to a 15-16 start to the 2015 season, placing them in fifth place (out of seven teams) in the South Atlantic League’s northern division.