Brick Life

Brick Mom: 18 Years Ago, You Became a Father for the First Time, and a Journey Began

by
Kimberlee Rutan McCafferty
June 21, 2021

Dear Jeff,

Almost eighteen years ago to the day you became a Dad for the first time. I’m having a hard time grasping that we’ve been on the parenthood/autism journey for that long, because it seems like just yesterday our nurse handed our squalling bundle of joy to me.

Actually, it’s both the blink of an eye, and feels like centuries ago too.

We had our kids late and had watched our siblings and friends cross the parenthood chasm, and we thought we were somewhat prepared.

Ah, how the universe must have been laughing at us.

We weren’t prepared. Not for the years of sleepless nights, the first eighteen months of denial that something was very different about our son, nor the sixteen years afterwards where we’ve done our best to provide him with a safe and happy life.

And at this, you have excelled.

To say this hasn’t always been easy would be the understatement of the millennium. From navigating the labryrinth of insurance hurdles to getting our son to realize food is fun, you have been there for him and for me through it all. Somehow you have managed to balance work and parenting so that both boys have always felt you to be there for them, have always been able to show them how much you love them.

And even though Justin is not often outwardly demonstrative I know he feels that love, returns it to you in spades, and Zach does too.

I can’t thank you enough for all the years of being my sanity, the voice of reason, the person that calms me down when all I can see is the cliff.

I can’t thank you enough for providing for our family, especially those years I was home working with Justin.

I can’t thank you enough for all the myriad ways you try to connect with the boys, from tickling Justin and imitating his favorite toy to talking with Zach about things I will never understand.

I can’t thank you enough for helping me to move on from my initial dreams for Justin to accepting his future, for showing me how to revel in the fact that our profoundly autistic son is happy with his life.

I can’t thank you enough for always being there for all of us.

For all of these reasons and more, thank you for being such a great Dad.

We love you, happy Father’s Day!

For more on my family visit my blog at autismmommytherapist.wordpress.com

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